Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
