what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
