he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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