week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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