If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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