you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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