can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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