Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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