Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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