He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
