I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Non-Jews are for practice
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
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I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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