Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
