I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize