they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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