Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
