How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
