she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize