this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
