i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
