is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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