Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You have to summon your inner elephant
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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