When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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