Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
