it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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