I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
