i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
