Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
