I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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