Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You are a genius and a whore.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize