Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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