Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
