Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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