woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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