Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
