I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Randomize
