O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
