My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
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Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Im part way to drunk.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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