So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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