We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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