Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
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I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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