your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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