I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
