dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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