Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
