it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
