hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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