I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We have started to decorate penises.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
