this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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