I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
