Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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