My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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