I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
