he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize