Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
