Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
